Saturday, August 30, 2003

I don't think I've ever had a day that lowered my feeling of self-worth quite like yesterday.
It was awful. I couldn't even post yesterday because I was so busy recovering.
The day started out with my hard as hell classes, but when I finally got a break from them things got worse. I checked my messages and founf that I had one from a Mr. Brian Willcox who was calling "for Chiquita Price" and he left his number and extention to call back. I thought Chiquita Price was the name of a company. I called back then and left a message on his machine saying that I had no idea what was going on, but would try back again later. I went to my last class and then made good on my word to call again and got him this time. I told him my name and asked him why he was calling me. He responded "Very cute, Chiquita" and then proceded to berate me for 15 minutes, calling me all sorts of names ("retard" being one of them) and refused to believe that he had gotten the wrong number. I told him to call the school, but he preffered to just yell at me and be generally abusive. The last thing he said was "Look. I don't know what kind of multiple personality thing you've got going on there, but when 'Chiquita' decides to come out, call back" and then hung up the phone.
I called the number again and dialed the operator and, being in tears by this time, *begged* her to take me off their list or whatever they had. She said she did, but I don't believe her. It slipped in a later conversation with my mother and she called them too, yelling at the operator who then hung up on her. It turns out they're a collection agency and "Chiquita" is in alot of trouble. Well NCO Financial Systems is in trouble now, because if my family has any say in this, they'll be paying my way through the college Mr. Willcox didn't believe I attended. And normally I wouldn't be all about sueing them, but I'm scared to death this man is going to call and yell at me again...maybe taking they're money will make them stop.
So I was very shaken up by this when it was time to go find out which sororities liked me and wanted me to come back. At the building, all the girls in my group had the same semi-smile which could have been real happiness or just a brave face. When I went in, my thoughts that I had gotten along well with alot of the girls went out the window as only one of them asked me back. Chi Omega. They take practically everyone.
I put on the brave face for the whole walk home, which never felt so long. I felt really unwanted. Like I din't matter. I know they're just sorority girls and I shouldn't care, but I did. I really felt like no one on this campus cared who I was and didn't even want to try and find out. Obviously I was very depressed.
Since Jason lives so close by, I decided to give him a call, hoping he would at least pay attention to me and let me vent.
Do you have any idea how much it hurts to be abandoned in a time of need for a reality TV show?
That's what happened. I went through the quick version of the day's events (still crying) and during the few points that he was listening, he made very unhelpful comments. Eventually he said that he really had to go but it had been great talking to me and he'd see me soon bye. I didn't notice until later, but the time we got off the phone combined with his subsequent away message showed my that watching Big Brother 4 was much more important than me feeling like someone cared about me. It was like nobody had time for me...
Marie eventually came back online and thank God she did. At least someone cared. Marie listened to me the whole time and proved once again why she's my best friend. She listened, said nice things, and didn't ditch my for CBS. At least I know one person has time for me.
I almost forgot. My mom had called again just before I talked to Marie to tell me that my iPod had gotten lost in Circut City's system for a third time. Earlier that day she had told me that the iPod had been mislabled as a *big screen TV*. Please not the obvious size difference given that a big screen TV is huge and an iPod *fits in your hand!* Since this confused the warehouse guys, they just let it sit there. The next thing I was told was that it had arrived in Ledgewood for pickup at the store...which does me no good at all because I'm in FUCKIN' PENNSYLVANIA!! But that wasn't the end. In this last conversation with my mother, she told me that it was, in fact, *not* at the store, but on it's way there....just like it has been for the past month. I'm never shopping a Circut City again.
But even after all this bad news I managed to cheer up a bit. After talking to Marie I decided to walk to the student center and buy myself a pint of Ben & Jerry's and throw myself a pity party for one. It was raining, though, so I decided to skip the ice cream and just watch a movie. I was about to get Lord of the Rings out and put that in the player when Lisa IM'd me and asked if I wanted to come upstairs and hang out. Sure. So I went upstairs to her room to hang out with the other girls and founf out that Elena and Amanda had not left for ice cream without me, but were instead "self-medicating" in Amanda's room (Elena had gotten cut down to 2, one of which she hates and Amanda had gotten the only one she wanted cut). Even though it was raining, we all still wanted ice cream so we drove down to The Freeze (Emily drove the two drunk girls). I got pretty much the exquivelant of a s'more flavored Blizzard, which was really good, and then we decided to go to Megan's room and watch "Two Weeks Notice". All and all, it made me feel alot better.
As for today, the second round has started. Meaning you get to visit the suites of the sororities that invited you back (in my case one). They can't tell you when you're group's visit will be, so you have to show up at 8:45 to find out. Turns out that they don't need me until 3:00...sonovabitch. So I just got up at 8:00 on a saturday morning for absolutly nothing. And how serious aboiut me can Chi O be if they shoved me all the way back to 3:00. Oh well. I'll show up. If they cut me, they cut me. I think I've cried enough over this. I know that some people care about me, even if Jason only does when it doesn't interfere with his TV schedule.
Peace.
~ Joyce
This transmission logged byErisSaid on 9:34 AM

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Well today was just full of surprises.
It was the first day of classes and, of course, my alarm didn't go off so I'm damned lucky I got up at 8 for my 9:00 class.
I had Mulligan last semester, so I don't think I'm going to have too much trouble in that class, but the other teachers are just loading the work on this semester! I'm going to have no less than two papers due every week and then some big ass projects peppering the syllabus will probably make me want to kill myself. Add to this my status as an exec in C+H and Sorority rush, and I've got myself one busy as hell semester. Shit....
Yeah...I didn't know rush started today...hoo boy. I gotta go around to either 3 or 4 (can't remember) of the sorority halls and introduce myself. Not a problem. Only problem is that I'm gonna be on my feet from 7:45 - 11:45 and I cut them up today on a pair of sandles. Way to go. Now I have to wear the sneakers that don't match at all, but at least they're comfy.
I'm gonna just flat out ask them if being in their sorority is going to effect my ability to be a C+H exec. The exec isn't a *huge* time commitment, but it's there and I promised my time to them first, so blah on them if they don't like it. And I won't be rude about it. And I don't think that the sororities that I want anything to do with will take offense
In closing I would like to point out that my meathod for keeping consiousness tonight will be giving myself a huge sugar high until then ::drinks some more Kool-Aid::
Peace.
~ Joyce

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 5:58 PM

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Tuesday, August 26, 2003

I'm really starting to think that all I need to do is walk through my front door to make things happen.
Today started out with me going over to Larison for hold clearence. Supposedly they didn't get all of the money for this semester since one of my loans was a bit slow in getting rolling. So I make my way over there and who do I see but my friends Michelle whom I'd known from Spanish. Great! Now I won't be bored while waiting in line.
I go throught the whole waiting in line thing and end up not having a hold. The check finally came in. Great. I got up before noon for nothing.
I grabed some yogurt in the caf and headed back to my room to put a couple more posters on these barren and depressing walls, and a little after noon I decided to take the stroll up to the LC (our student union sort of thing) and check my mail for a package ticket in my never ending quest to actually *get* the iPod that I paid for (I could go on for hours about how much I hate Circut City, but I'll restrain myself). I was walking up the hill right in front of the building when I ran in to two of the girls from the club I'm in here on campus. They said that they were walking to the Perkins and asked if I wanted to join them. Of course! Anything is better than the caf fodd and Perkins rocks.
So we make the trip on foot and manage to cross route 15 with our lives. I had an omlette and a chocolate milkshake. Yes together. And it wasn't yucky. The milkshake was really good.
When we're walking back of course it starts to rain, so when I get back to the house all I want to do is get a towel and dry off. But when I open the door, it feels funny, like it doesn't want to open. When I do get inside I see this is because the full length mirror I had bought for the back of the door had falled down on to my step ladder and shattered on to the floor. I'm glad I have such nice housemates that they helped me clean it up. Too bad I don't have a mirror anymore, though...
Classes start tomorrow and, wouldn't you know it, Wednesday is my worst day of classes. All of them in one day plus a recitation, giving me a total of 5 1/2 hours in one day. To make up for that, though, I have no classes on Thursday. That's when I'll head down to Wal-Mart again to get a new mirror and maybe some little decorations for my room.
That's it for now, but I think that's enough. All that's left today is two meetings and the inevitable phonecall from my mother.
Peace.
~ Joyce

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 5:04 PM

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Mazeltov! It's a blog!
Hey there. I'm one of the seemingly increasing refugees from freeopendiary.com. My old diary just wasn't doing it for me anymore, so I decided to graduate to a real blog. I'm a big girl now!
In any event, this blog is going to be the new home to my many little adventures as a college sophomore. Freeopendiary still has the account of my freshman year, but now I'm a more confident person and I'm ready to start fresh.
So here it goes. Brace yourselves for weird stories and random thoughts.
Peace.
~ Joyce

P.S - if for some reason you're interested in that freshman year stuff, it's at freeopendiary.com with the username of AnotherJerseyMallrat

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 4:18 PM

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