Monday, September 08, 2003

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fantastic...now if only there was a guy who could agree with me....
This transmission logged byErisSaid on 8:15 PM

Sunday, September 07, 2003

I'm out.
I'm so happy I was in Chi Omega when I changed my mind. They really did understand why I couldn't stay, and so did Ms Irwin. She knew why I needed to leave before I even said anything specific. Greek life just isn't for me. And the other girls in Chi O are still being very nice to me. I'm glad they aren't mad. They're genuinely nice girls and it would really hurt if they suddenly turned on me because of this.
The only thing that made me rethink my desicion at all was a call from Michelle about an hour ago. She didn't know why I was de-pledging, and so I did my best to explain. I knew that there were members of the Sorority that didn't drink, Michelle being one of them. I told her that I understood that, but that I couldn't follow that path. It's hard to admit that you have so little self control. I know that if alcohol is presented to me, I will drink it. I have over 9 generations of alcoholics to prove that. This is not safe behavior. I know that I will not be able to stop myself. I remember saying over and over again last night that "this is my last one". It never was. I know that that would be the story every weekend. I'm not blaming genetics. I'm saying that it serves as a warning for what could happen to me.
She eventually understood, and I think she might actually be coming bowling with a bunch of us on saturday. As long as that isn't the day of the TKE mixer.
Hamilton came down to visit just a few minutes ago. Said that it was "his duty as the house's alpha male to check on his girls." ::laugh:: He really is a nice guy. Plus, it's better to have him for our "alpha male" than Matt ::shudder::. Anyhow, he asked how I felt about my situation and what exactly my reasons were. When I told them again, he understood too. It's nice to know that other people understand your rationale, especially in situations like this. I'm pretty sure Michelle was still a little unsure about why I felt the need to drop out, but I know what makes sense to me.
This may very well be a matter of importance for the rest of my life. My actions in college can affect how I live my life from here on out. I know that because I know my Grandpa, my late Uncle Jimmy whose death can be linked to all those years of hard drinking, and all of "the Greats" (Great-Uncles, Great-Aunts, etc.) who fell to "the curse of the pint".
As silly as I may sound and feel saying it, I know that being exposed to all of that alcohol would be nothing but trouble for me.
Where there is temptation, I'm gonna need to be about 6,000 miles from it. In the future, the occasional drink with friends will be fine. I know that they can watch me. Plus I'd be too busy talking. At these parties there is nothing to do but drink. Being constantly around that, would be a death sentence for me.
Peace.
~Joyce

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 9:43 PM

~*~*~*~Comments:~*~*~*~ Post a Comment

Well that post went surprisingly well. Too bad last night didn't.
It was only the second time I've ever really drank and I got sick. Not violently, but still sick. I'm almost glad that I did, though. It made getting back to sleep much easier since I no longer had a constant pain in my gut.
If last night is how every saturday night is when you're in a sorority, I think I would probably die, and I say that in all seriousness. With my family history and small build, I have all the ingrediants for getting in to a ton of trouble.
But while I was writhing in pain from getting sick, I figured out exactly what I had to do. I need to talk to Shawna *today*. Not Monday, as Emily suggested. Today there is supposed to be t-shirt making and the first chapter meeting with the new members. I want to get out before I have too much invested in them and they in me. I still have everything I've been given by them, and I'd be happy to give it back if they want it. It's for members, after all. I'm having enough issues with the fact that I'm already in the chapter pictures for this year, but I'll move on from that. I have to.
I really just want to call Shawna right now and get this out of the way before lunchtime, but Emily isn't up yet, and I'm not going to abandon her. I know it's only 9:30 in the morning (I told you I had a crappy night's sleep), but I really wish she would come online. I know exactly what I'm going to say when we get there, too. I really don't want them to think that there is something wrong with the girls in that sorority. They have tried very hard to make us feel involved, but it's just not working for me.
I'm trying very hard to understand what is going on with me right now. From what I can tell, this is about me finding out exactly what and who I am. That's all I can be. I think that alot of this is stemming from the fact that I'm part of the first generation of women in my family to attend university. I guess I wanted to leave a mark. Something that future generations could say about me. I know it sounds rediculous, but that's what I was thinking. But I have to understand that I can really only be me, and this isn't me.
I just heard a *wump* sound on the ceiling, so I think Emily might be up.
Peace.
~ Joyce

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 9:45 AM

~*~*~*~Comments:~*~*~*~ Post a Comment

I got in to Chi Omega yesterday.
I've changed my mind.
I've just been out all day, having been woken up at 8:15 in the morning for a bagle breakfast and banner painting. After that, we went to the quad and did cheers for 45 minutes. We then had to go to a barbeque, regardless of how exhausted we were, and get our pledge ribbon thingies, but that isn't the half. I've just been drinking all night and am just now starting to sober up. I wish I could say it was fun, but it really wasn't.
Everyone else will probably be out until the wee hours of the morning, but since I knew it was time for me to call it a night, I walked home with Emily. On the way home we got to really talking (I have the mixed blessing of being a drunk with all of her mental faculties in tact, but having a very clumsy body). As it turns out, she is having the same second thoughts that I've been having. It became very clear to me that I had made a mistake when Laura (Emily's roommate and non-rusher) said that she and some other "Independants" (people who didn't rush) were going to go see Pirates of the Caribbean tonight while the rest of us went out to the frats. I knew, and so did Emily, that this really wasn't such a good idea to join when we felt that we would much rather go with them than to the parties.
On our way back, Emily was crying, but I wasn't. I don't cry except in the comfort of my own home. I made the guess that if we talked to Shawna Irwin (head of the greek system here) we could get out of our bids. It's not as though we're full members just yet. And if I ever wanted to go out to a drinking party, I could just get one of the boys to put me on the list. They're gonna do that for Laura.
I know that the girls in Chi Omega might not be too happy, but I think they'll understand better than another sorority would. And I'm not alone, so that makes me feel alot better. I always feel more secure in numbers. And when we talk to Shawna I'll make sure to say that there is nothing wrong with the girls (and there isn't. They're all very nice), but it's just not for me. And it isn't.
I thought I could have it both ways. Have lots of fun doing both non-drinking and drinking events. And I still think I can (although I now see which one I very much prefer).
I'll talk to my mom tomorrow. I have a feeling that she'll be a little dissappointed and/or confused, but it's my social life for the next three years, not hers. I have alot of work ahead of me for the next few days...but I'm tough enough to handle it.
Peace.
~Joyce. Who can't wait to see how messed up this entry looks in the clear light of tomorrow.

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 12:55 AM

~*~*~*~Comments:~*~*~*~ Post a Comment

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

I updated yesterday, but for some reason my internet connection decided to flip me the bird and time out before posting...so I lost everything I posted. Ucky.
In any case, life has been moving by so fast that I haven't even noticed. It didn't even occur to me just how busy I've been until I talked to my mother yesterday. It turns out that she had called me twice in the past few days, but I didn't find out about that until I talked to Marie for her birthday. I probably would have forgotten to check my voicemail for at least a few more days if she hadn't mentioned my mother saying something about it to her. Oopsie.
When I finally called her to relate the events of the past several days, it really caught up with me just how much I had done. I had (and still have) so much on my plate, and yet I'm still getting it all done! I feel like a machine. A coffee powered machine.
Rush has been going surprisingly well. As it turns out, Chi Omega really does want me to join. I've been asked to prefferentials tonight at 10:45 (I'm gonna need to get dressed up for this...too bad I don't have any dresses -_-). I've been thinking about it alot over the past few days and I've decided that, should they offer me a bid to join, I'm going to accept. Most of my friends are looking to pledge there and the current members are all very sweet and very contrary to the Sorority Girl stereotype. You can't pinpoint exactly what they typical Chi Omega mamber is like, and I really like that about them. Well. I'm just going to go through the next few days and see where I end up.
The thing that's really taking up most of my time right now (aside from my mountains of classwork) is my exec position in Calvin + Hobbes. We had an exec meeting last night and we got alot of issues out of the way, and my job was made all the clearer. I've been having so much fun with this group. The other day we went to play wiffle ball in the gym, and despite being small, slow, and out of shape, I did quite well. After that, though, we all wanted to do something mellow, and Ken mentioned seeing my huge DVD collection when he came by to let me know about wiffle ball (it's nice to live right across the street) and so the idea of watching a movie won out (we were initially going to watch a VHS that was already at the house, but the VCR was/is still broken). So I ended up running back to Edwards House with Carrie, who was wearing PJ pants and no shoes. We could really pick on our own, so I just brought over 5 or 6 of my favorites. The final decision was Death to Smoochy which I was thrilled about. It's one of my favorite movies, so I'm always glad to share it. They loved it too, so I was super happy.
Apart from that stuff, I've just been working non-stop. It's still early in the day, but so far the only thing that's happened today is that I got the oddest compliment ever. I know it was meant to be so, but it was still odd. A girl who has been in my at least one of my classes every semester, Ruth, asked if she could borrow my Political Geography notes as she missed class yesterday. I said of course and told her that she could give them back whenever she was done. She smiled and said "Thank you so much. You know, when I was in Spanish with you I thought you were a little intimidating since you usually looked so grumpy, but you really are a very sweet person" then left for her next class.
.....I really don't know what to make of that....
I know my eyes are a bit small and she usually has class with me early in the morning, but I never thought I looked grumpy. Oh well. Lisa said that I don't, but I know Ruth meant well.
On too International Politics! And after that I'll only have two and a half more hours of class awaiting me, and then round four of rush!
......I'm not going to sleep tonight, am I?
Peace.
~ Joyce

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 12:16 PM

~*~*~*~Comments:~*~*~*~ Post a Comment

Monday, September 01, 2003

Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Who will play you:	Kevin Smith
Who will play your love interest:	LL Cool J
Weeks you will stay in the box office:	8
Song that will play during your love scene:	Eels - Restraining Order Blues
Song that will play during your death:	Simon and Garfunkel - Sound of Silence
Your name:
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

I may not stay in the box office long, but my cast kicks ass! .....except for the part about me being played by a guy.....but if it had to be a guy I'm glad it was Kevin "Jersey Pride" Smith! And the Eels are cool.

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 11:58 AM

~*~*~*~Comments:~*~*~*~ Post a Comment

[web-design by may]