Sunday, September 07, 2003

I got in to Chi Omega yesterday.
I've changed my mind.
I've just been out all day, having been woken up at 8:15 in the morning for a bagle breakfast and banner painting. After that, we went to the quad and did cheers for 45 minutes. We then had to go to a barbeque, regardless of how exhausted we were, and get our pledge ribbon thingies, but that isn't the half. I've just been drinking all night and am just now starting to sober up. I wish I could say it was fun, but it really wasn't.
Everyone else will probably be out until the wee hours of the morning, but since I knew it was time for me to call it a night, I walked home with Emily. On the way home we got to really talking (I have the mixed blessing of being a drunk with all of her mental faculties in tact, but having a very clumsy body). As it turns out, she is having the same second thoughts that I've been having. It became very clear to me that I had made a mistake when Laura (Emily's roommate and non-rusher) said that she and some other "Independants" (people who didn't rush) were going to go see Pirates of the Caribbean tonight while the rest of us went out to the frats. I knew, and so did Emily, that this really wasn't such a good idea to join when we felt that we would much rather go with them than to the parties.
On our way back, Emily was crying, but I wasn't. I don't cry except in the comfort of my own home. I made the guess that if we talked to Shawna Irwin (head of the greek system here) we could get out of our bids. It's not as though we're full members just yet. And if I ever wanted to go out to a drinking party, I could just get one of the boys to put me on the list. They're gonna do that for Laura.
I know that the girls in Chi Omega might not be too happy, but I think they'll understand better than another sorority would. And I'm not alone, so that makes me feel alot better. I always feel more secure in numbers. And when we talk to Shawna I'll make sure to say that there is nothing wrong with the girls (and there isn't. They're all very nice), but it's just not for me. And it isn't.
I thought I could have it both ways. Have lots of fun doing both non-drinking and drinking events. And I still think I can (although I now see which one I very much prefer).
I'll talk to my mom tomorrow. I have a feeling that she'll be a little dissappointed and/or confused, but it's my social life for the next three years, not hers. I have alot of work ahead of me for the next few days...but I'm tough enough to handle it.
Peace.
~Joyce. Who can't wait to see how messed up this entry looks in the clear light of tomorrow.
This transmission logged byErisSaid on 12:55 AM

[web-design by may]