Thursday, September 21, 2006

Music: The Aquabats - Lobster Bucket
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In my now three month tour of duty in the legal system, I have encountered some pretty amazing last names.

This occurred to me as I was drafting a letter to opposing counsel on one of our cases. The partnership I was writting to consisted of the two most unpronounceable names I've ever seen. The first had about 5 "f"s and was 12 letters long, and the second, when said out lound, sounded like I was burping with something stuck in my throat.

I've run in to some pretty stereotypical lawyer last names, too. Another letter I was drafting was addressed to a guy named Biancomano. White hand! How badass is that? And another lawyer was named Powers! Unfortunately, his first name was not Max.

I think lawyers represent their names in the way that makes them sound the most respectable. Like some of them put Esquire after their name no matter where it is. Letterhead? Esquire. At the bottom of the letter? Esquire. Handwritten fax? Esquire.

Then there's the middle initial. Some lawyers do it, some don't. Through phone calls, I've noticed that the middle initial folks don't mess around, while the Esquire additcts are less intimidating overall. It's like they're trying too hard. Some middle initial lawyers insist on being addressed with their middle initial in conversation which is also overdoing it a bit.

The worst I think I've seen was one guy who had the middle intial going, perma-Esquire tacked on the back, and used the full Double-Barreled WASP-y surname. When I read the letter I laughed my ass off. His name was, like, Maxwell T. Blightestshire-Crowly, Esq III or some shit (the name's made up, but the effect is the same). I could tell this guy was a total clown shoe just by his letterhead. That, my friends, is the ultimate in trying too hard.

When I become a lawyer, the Esq is only gonna go in when it needs to, but I'm totally tacking in the middle initial for official written correspondence. And my last name? Keeping my maiden name unless my husband's is cooler...Like Powers or something...
This transmission logged byErisSaid on 1:24 PM

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