Friday, September 22, 2006

Music: The Beatles - Money (That's What I Want)
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Work made me grumpy today. Lots of typing very complicated stuff. About 20 pages worth of typing.

But when I got home and opened my mail, I had a hilarious suprise waiting for me: Bucknell wants my money!

Pardon me for a moment while I revist the maniacle laughter I let out this afternoon.

Okay. Let's take a little journey together. Let's read a few highlights:

"My Annual Fund Gift
Your gift every year makes an impact every day."
Okay bullshit, but I'm getting ahead of myself...
"Annual Fund gifts provide vital support for every student in all aspects of their education; here are just a few examples of how your gifts to the Bucknell Annual Fund make an impact:
- Helps provide every student with a 'silent scholarship' because tuition, as at many institutions, does not cover the full cost of a Bucknell education
Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. You're saying that the $45,000+ I paid a year wasn't enough? What the fuck are you people doing with that money? Wiping your asses? Or maybe just using it as filter liner in that big-ass pool we can't afford and the non-athlete students can only use for 3 hours every few days.
-Supports undergraduate research
Great. So for every engineer who's learning to build a firefighting robot, I also get to support the English Major who got in on his family name and now decided that he wants to write about the impact of the Dada Movement on Belgian Literature. Yeah. You boys are really selling me on this...
- Brings important guest speakers to campus
Two words, slapnuts. Sean. Aston. Next!
- Gives access to full-text electronic journals

Then riddle me this, Batman?
Why could I never get the fucking articles I
needed for my research papers off of J-Store?
Or GeoBase?
Or basically anytime I ever needed a scholarly article on hyphenate-American nationalism?

Then the damned thing busts out a graph showing how much less Bucknell Alums give to the school. Well shit, bro! Now I'm wondering why! Another strike. Things aren't looking good...

In the little "pretending this is more than us shamelessly begging for cash" letter on the front, tha alumni relations guy says that it took him 12 years to "reevaluate his relationship" with Bucknell. He took 12 years, but after less than 6 months I'm supposed to open my checkbook?

Here's the deal. Minimum donation is $50 a year. I know for a fact that $50 isn't enough to feed one Bucknell student for a three days. Don't patronize me. I know you're just buttering me up for later when I have a real job. Shit. There are migrant workers in California that make more than I do per hour.

In short. I'm sick of being treated like a fucking cash register. Bucknell, show a little tact. This just smells of desperation...

And, of course, my parents are MAKING me donate...::sigh::
This transmission logged byErisSaid on 7:39 PM

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