Saturday, March 03, 2007

Music: John Mayer - The Heart of Life
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I feel a lot better. There was something kind of eating at me for the past few days, but now I've taken care of it. My mom's been really upset because, after she got laid off from her job she had wanted to take some time off. Now she feels like she needs to go right out and get another job...

The thing I wasn't supposed to know was that she felt this way because my dad quit his job the same day she got laid off. For the past week I've been the only one pulling in a paycheck. What the hell is wrong with this picture.

I wasn't supposed to know...but I did...and my dad was lying to me. I asked him one day when I saw him home at 2:00 after going out that morning "Short day at the office?" figuring I'd give him a chance to tell me the truth. Instead he said "Yup" as if lying was the most natural thing in the world. I was so pissed, but didn't show it. He's very pround and very stubborn...but there's a fine...No not fine it's actually a pretty defined line...between being proud and being a damned liar.

So after my mother had depression spell #5 this morning (utterly fatalistic conversation in which she says she can't do what she wants because there's nothing she want's to do and if she did want to do something it wouldn't really be what she wanted to do because there's nothing to do...look no one ever said this shit would make sense...) I just confronted my dad. He said not to worry, that he had 3 or 4 jobs lined up and he would probably be back to work within the next week and a half. He said he'd told mom that and that she didn't have to go right back to work but she "just wouldn't listen." I called him out on the lying thing about going to the office. His response was "Well it was a short day at the office. Very very short. And not the office you were thinking of. It was a quick interview." I say now as I said then: Har har fuckin' har.

Nice to know where I get my smartass genes.

So basically my conclusion is this: They are both acting like children and my best course of action will be to outright ignore them both until Dad gets back to work and mom finds something less personal to complain about.

GOD and then there's the upcoming trip to Florida....I want to see Pop Pop...but traveling with my mother....Dear God in Heaven please let this not end in murder or disowning....

Lastly, I got my first ever rejection letter. It came George Washington Law School, not one that I was stoked about but not one I was like "Aw hell why not" about either. One of the midcards. And you know what? I'm not really even all that upset. Everyone gets rejected sometimes. I got rediculously lucky in applying to college because I got in to my first choice school on early decision. I've never gotten a rejection letter. And I would have probably forgotten all about it already if not for....

....My mother is more upset than I am. It's not even one of my top choices but she's still upset "on my behalf." It's really not necesary. I'm fine. But in her own words "I'm just not used to you getting rejected." Well. You can't win every time. It's just not possible. Seriously. I've got like 8 other applications out there. And if I don't get in this time? I'm going to keep applying. Everyone trips and falls sometimes. No one ever said life was easy. Sorry, Mom. My existance isn't charmed. I am just as prone to human failure as the rest of the world. Plus, there are a LOT of people MUCH smarter than me. I know that.

....Besides. I've got enough to worry about making sure she and Dad don't throw too many hissy fits at eachother....I thought I stopped babysitting when I was 17. Maybe I should remind them of my hourly rate....
This transmission logged byErisSaid on 1:14 PM

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