Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Music: Johnathan Coulton - Skullcrusher Mountain
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Ah'm back, bitches.

Back in to the vicious cycle of having way too much going on in my head at one time and needing to type it out. Very little may actually be happening to me, but I *am* paying attention to the world around me.

1) I have got to stop watching cooking shows. For serious. I love to cook and all but while I'm here living at home, I don't get to choose what goes on the plate or gets picked up at the grocery store. Add to that the fact that either my father wants to be the one cooking (it's really the only hobby he has time for given his psycho work schedule) or my mother makes it very obvious that she is not interested in actually having a meal and is more concerned with the fact that I might get some food on the stove. She's got this thing about sitting down to eat. She hates it. "Why can't we all just go about our lives without having to take this huge chunk of time out just to eat?" she asks. The short answer is that some people actually want to stop working for a little while each day and put some nutrients in to their body while also engaging in social interaction with the family unit. Also because steak is awesome.
But soon I will be on my own and able to make food whenever I want! It's only a few weeks to go, in fact, before I make the move in to my very first apartment. But even there, I know I won't be able to do like the cooking shows do. For example, a few weeks ago after a successful soup recipe I became drunk on power and decided I could make pasta from scratch. It always looks so fun on the Molto Mario show! And it doesn't look that hard when he does it either. What I forgot was that the guy on TV had been a professional chef for like 20 years, spent a bunch of years just learning how to make fresh pasta, and had the benefit of being on a TV show where they could just go from ball of dough to lovely tortellini in like 30 seconds. As nifty as working the pasta machine was, it was still one hell of a production. That and I can't make the little totrtellini shape...so they ended up more like won-tons with potato based filling. That was my Hail-Mary Play of cooking. I really ought to stick to *watching* this fancy stuff and *making* stuff like soup.

2) As excited as I am to move out on my own, I fear for my furnishings. I have so much stuff for the apartment already but a lot of it is little stuff scavenged from around the house, like seemingly useless kitchen gadgets. It's the big stuff that's missing.
Got a couch? No. But I have a strawberry huller!
Got a bed? Nope! But I have a honey dipper thingy!
Got lamps? Not a single one! But I have a pie server!
Mom is so in love with the idea of *decorating* this place that she's forgotten that I need actual furniture to live on. Then there's another problem with this decorating. She getting *WAY* to overbearing on it. We were in Kohls getting towels and other little stuff when I almost gave her a nervous breakdown. Seriously, when I said I'd rather get the towels that were actually going to dry dishes instead of the pretty, thin as hell towels despite the fact that they didn't match my "theme" (that she decided I had) she shut down. Like a Blue Screen of Death error but in a person. We got over it eventually but it was touch and go for awhile there. I kinda wanted to get her a paper bag to breathe in and out of.
3) I have developed a dress problem. I don't know why but suddenly I love dresses. It's like all the hot weather benefits of wearing a skit, but I don't have to bust my ass finding a shirt to match.
4) I need to avoid reality shows. They either piss me off or give me ideas above my station. For example, the hot mess that is Next Food Network Star both pisses me off because the judging is so contradictory (at least no one has been cast as "the villian") and makes me want to try making a cassoulet. BAD
5) I don't think President Bush knows how the female anatomy works
This transmission logged byErisSaid on 11:02 AM

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