The New Adventures of...
Thrilling tales of mild discomfort and general complacence

Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Music: Johnathan Coulton - Skullcrusher Mountain

Ah'm back, bitches.

Back in to the vicious cycle of having way too much going on in my head at one time and needing to type it out. Very little may actually be happening to me, but I *am* paying attention to the world around me.

1) I have got to stop watching cooking shows. For serious. I love to cook and all but while I'm here living at home, I don't get to choose what goes on the plate or gets picked up at the grocery store. Add to that the fact that either my father wants to be the one cooking (it's really the only hobby he has time for given his psycho work schedule) or my mother makes it very obvious that she is not interested in actually having a meal and is more concerned with the fact that I might get some food on the stove. She's got this thing about sitting down to eat. She hates it. "Why can't we all just go about our lives without having to take this huge chunk of time out just to eat?" she asks. The short answer is that some people actually want to stop working for a little while each day and put some nutrients in to their body while also engaging in social interaction with the family unit. Also because steak is awesome.
But soon I will be on my own and able to make food whenever I want! It's only a few weeks to go, in fact, before I make the move in to my very first apartment. But even there, I know I won't be able to do like the cooking shows do. For example, a few weeks ago after a successful soup recipe I became drunk on power and decided I could make pasta from scratch. It always looks so fun on the Molto Mario show! And it doesn't look that hard when he does it either. What I forgot was that the guy on TV had been a professional chef for like 20 years, spent a bunch of years just learning how to make fresh pasta, and had the benefit of being on a TV show where they could just go from ball of dough to lovely tortellini in like 30 seconds. As nifty as working the pasta machine was, it was still one hell of a production. That and I can't make the little totrtellini they ended up more like won-tons with potato based filling. That was my Hail-Mary Play of cooking. I really ought to stick to *watching* this fancy stuff and *making* stuff like soup.

2) As excited as I am to move out on my own, I fear for my furnishings. I have so much stuff for the apartment already but a lot of it is little stuff scavenged from around the house, like seemingly useless kitchen gadgets. It's the big stuff that's missing.
Got a couch? No. But I have a strawberry huller!
Got a bed? Nope! But I have a honey dipper thingy!
Got lamps? Not a single one! But I have a pie server!
Mom is so in love with the idea of *decorating* this place that she's forgotten that I need actual furniture to live on. Then there's another problem with this decorating. She getting *WAY* to overbearing on it. We were in Kohls getting towels and other little stuff when I almost gave her a nervous breakdown. Seriously, when I said I'd rather get the towels that were actually going to dry dishes instead of the pretty, thin as hell towels despite the fact that they didn't match my "theme" (that she decided I had) she shut down. Like a Blue Screen of Death error but in a person. We got over it eventually but it was touch and go for awhile there. I kinda wanted to get her a paper bag to breathe in and out of.
3) I have developed a dress problem. I don't know why but suddenly I love dresses. It's like all the hot weather benefits of wearing a skit, but I don't have to bust my ass finding a shirt to match.
4) I need to avoid reality shows. They either piss me off or give me ideas above my station. For example, the hot mess that is Next Food Network Star both pisses me off because the judging is so contradictory (at least no one has been cast as "the villian") and makes me want to try making a cassoulet. BAD
5) I don't think President Bush knows how the female anatomy works

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 11:02 AM

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Monday, December 10, 2007
Music: Primus - Jerry was a Racecar Driver

Yesderday was pretty fun but holy crap am I paying for it now.

My family decided to have a warm and fuzzy trip in to the City to look at the store windows and get lunch at Becco, a restaurant owned by one of my father's favorite cooks. It was a good day out, but oh my God my legs, my back...everything just ffels achey and horrible now. My mom insisted that we walk the whole time in the 30 degree weather and we only got one short break for coffee. My feet hurt so badly and I was so tired after we walked about 5 miles in the cold...but that's alright as long as we didn't take one of those evil evil cabs. My mom has something against motorized transportation that I will NEVER understand.

Today I'm still exhausted and need a nap desperately, but I did get some good news. My newest personaly statement is apparently spot on. This is going to work this time I just know it...

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 12:08 PM

Wha? No update since Dec. 10?!

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Thursday, December 06, 2007
Music: Rilo Kiley - I Never


Nothing's realy going on, but a basic rundown of my day has me knitting Christmas gifts, thinking about gifts, polishing my law school application stuff (I think I *finally* got it right on the personal statement stuff), little bit of World of Warcraft here and there, and, of course, work.

This Sunday something's actually happening, though! Mom, Dad, my Godmother and I are going in to the City to have just kind of a nice day out. We're gonna go see the tree, go out to eat at a really good Italian restaurant that Dad's wanted to try for ages, and hopefully just have a nice time of things. Not that my family doesn't have the most amazing talent for turning otherwise cheerful days in to a non-stop circus of temper-tantrums, sulking, and otherwise sabotaging of a good day out...Don't even get me started on Thanksgiving....It was great once we got to my Aunt's, but you could have cut the irritation in the car with a knife.

Ack! Boss. Cutting this short back to work.

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 11:34 AM

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Monday, November 19, 2007
Music: Eels - Numbered Days

I knew today was not going to be great. I knew that from the moment I set out for work this morning. Surprise snow was great when I was in school...but my opinions are starting to change. The town was just as unprepared, so I knew the roads were gonna be a mess. That was one hell of an understatement.

Two minutes down the road, I started skidding a bit. My brakes were VERY unhappy with the situation and made sure I knew it. When I got to the end of the road (a usually 5 minute trip that took 10) I went to stop and make a left....The stopping was not happening. I skidded about 5 feet and managed to strongarm the car in to a left turn. I'm already thinking I should just turn around and head home. The roads were only going to get worse (HUGE hill around the resevoir). I was about to give up when fate told me "you'd damn well better."

I've never fishtailed before. I never want to do it again. I really gotta hand it to the guy behind me. AMAZING evasive action on his part. After that, I had a good cry, called work to say I wouldn't be in, and crept back home. One more skid on the way back. I got a hug from daddy and curled up in the basement to hide for awhile.

But there was more going on today! We got our new dishwasher. Notice that there's now exclamation point of excitement for that. That's because I hate this fuckin' thing and want to take a sledgehammer to it. It's beaten me up twice already, the handle sticks out so far that I can't get as close to the counter as I'm used to, and all the controls are hidden on the top of the door under the counter. Completely out of sight. There is absolutely no way to tell when this thing is on or off, running or finished. The front panel is plain, featureless stainless steel. As for how it beat me up, the door is on a spring load. If the dishrack is not pulled out on to the door, it springs back up. This is a GIANT pain in the ass. I had this thing spring back up on my elbow twice and it's only been in the house for 3 hours.

Lastly on the day's hit parade of shit, I didn't notice that the mayo I put in my tuna salad sandwich was expired until a couple bites in...I think I've got a bad night ahead of me.

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 3:02 PM

Oh shit! You have my friend David's horrible ass dishwasher! As in, he's been evaluating it for our semester long project in my Human-Computer Interaction class. My sympathies. That thing does blow.

PS - Are you free at all the next few days? I'll be back early on Wednesday, and I'm flexible with when I can hang out...I'd just recommend we NOT do Friday if we're going to meet at the mall.
as much as i pine for snow, one thing i do not miss is sliding on ice on the road, car or no car. keep safe till i come home!
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Friday, October 26, 2007
Music: Regina Spektor - Ghost of Corporate Future

I rather like this idea, which was sadly banned by the French government. I shall have to save it for the next time I go to vote. It pretty much summarizes how I feel about every single person being put before me as a future "leader" for this country.

Specifically, a person who I would not want to be near without a sanitary mask and some rubber gloves.

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 1:21 PM

more posts are required for sanity
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Monday, October 08, 2007
Music: Kaiser Chiefs - Every Day I Love You Less

Do not be deceived! This post is not actually about my knitting hobby. Only the setting and circumstances have to do with knitting. This will actually be one of my good old fashioned "I hate the Upper Middle Class" rants.

I know that sounds hypocritical, but honestly the social practices of the UMC are nothing short of pathetic. In this area, Sweet 16 parties are treated like the old debutante balls of the South but with shorter skirts and more plastic surgery, parent involvement in a child's education is limited to between the hours of 5 and 9 so long as business concerns do not interrupt, people whine and complain about the "Mexicans" bringing drugs and crime in to their neighborhoods while never bothering to notice the bongs and stashboxes in Junior's room, and the incredibly bored stay-at-home-former-trophy-wife moms take up all sorts of little hobbies that they can brag about without ever actually investing any time in them.

I hate the hypocrites of the Upper Middle Class and I am terrified that I will someday become one of them.

That last section of the rant comes from a recent trip I made to a nearby yarn store. In all honesty, I'm not too much a fan of this place because the customers usually consist of bitter soccer moms or abnormally surly old ladies. Two of the three staff members are pretty nice to me, but the owner always treats me like I'm going to steal something or just generally don't belong in her store. They are all locals. Guess their socio-economic status.

There is, however, one lady at this store who I think is just the best despite never having talked to her, only listened. She's not from around here and she doesn't work for the store, but she teaches some classes there and that was all I knew about her until recently. I happened to be buying yarn on a day where she had stayed after one of her classes to just sit and relax. I got to listen to her talk to some of the other ladies while I used the store's ball-winder thingy (which the owner always acts like I'm going to break). She talked about the charity work that she did with her church and how they had a program with the women's prison where the inmates learned to crochet shawls and blankets for homeless shelters. She talked so glowingly about the inmates and when she saw one of the other ladies getting frustrated with whatever she was working on she offered kind advice and encouragement. Basically, think exactly what you could wish for in a grandma. That was this lady.

Then some small chunky lady wearing too much jewelry and an obviously expensive coat bursts through the door carrying two large shopping, almost knocking over a display. She shuffled over to the teacher and interrupted a story I had rather been enjoying mid sentence to plop down the two bags. The woman with the jewelry said she was glad she'd caught the teacher while she was still in town because she had "finished" her project and needed it to be sew together and would the teacher's usual rate still apply.

Let me simplify that: This woman said she had "finished" the coat she "made" but now needed someone else to put the pieces together. How the fuck is that "finished"? That's not "finished." That's "I made a bunch of fucking useless rectangles and don't have time enough in my busy schedule of spending money and pretending to be interested in my kids to learn how to put the goddamned pieces together in to something I can wear and brag about having made." I was dumbfounded. This woman would honestly rather pay someone an hourly rate (not a cheap one, either) to do part of her hobby for her than learn to do it herself. I would also like to point out, as someone who kinda knows what they're doing in this particular hobby, that the sewing would have been so easy to accomplish after looking at a fucking diagram available anywhere on the Internet or any of the thousands of knitting books out there that my DEAD DOG PROBABLY COULD HAVE SEWN UP THE FUCKING COAT. WITHOUT OPPOSABLE THUMBS. POST-CREMATION.

The elderly lady agreed to the usual rate. I don't begrudge that. I say, if you can make money off of morons like the Jewelry Lady then Go Granny, Go. But honestly, Jewelry Lady, if you're going to take up a hobby, actually learn how to do the damned thing or stick to projects that don't require you to fucking HIRE someone to finish it for you. Would you take up baking and then say "But I don't put things in pans"? Or learn to golf and go "Excuse me but would you mind putting for me? I'll give you 10 bucks."

Maybe I'm overreacting (actually I *know* I'm overreacting) but it's shit like this that drives me crazy about this area. Even when these people are supposedly doing things that are fun, they still need someone of the else to do part of it for them.

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 1:54 PM

you have one amazing dog. My ferret could only shit and steal wallets
A's Comment > Anything I wrote in that post
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Friday, September 28, 2007
Music: Tri-State Conspiracy - High-Strung Mess

This morning was quite nice. I got my first good night's sleep all week (Claratin at night instead of during the day! Genius!), and when I got downstairs my mom was in a good mood and even made a new pot of coffee for me (our coffee maker is so amazing. It makes a full pot in under 3's friggin' ugly and looks like a turbine engine...but it's awesome). Chatted with her for a little bit and was reminded that my Pop-Pop is coming up from Florida tonight in preparation for next week's return trip to Nanticoke to see Great Grandpa Arthur. They're planning on doing a little bit of gardening around the site (Pop loves plants, so it's only fitting he should want to see his dad's grave all nice and green).

As usual, there's going to be a family get-together at my Aunt Jill's so everyone can see him...except for me. With the new babies around, me and my virus should probably stay away. Sucks for me, but it's probably for the best. In any case, the little sweater I made for Matthew will be handed over as an extremely early Christmas gift. I put enough time in to that thing that I wanna make sure he gets some use out of it.

Once I agreed with my mother that I'd sew the buttons on tonight it occurred to me to ask her a question that had been bugging me:
"Mom," I asked, "can you explain something to me? Why is it that just about every baby I see is always burried under like 40 layers of clothes and a blanket by early fall? Are babies like naturally cold or something? because I always see these kids bundled up like they're going to daycare in Siberia."
"I don't really know," she replied, "but I've noticed that too. It's nothing new, either. When you were a baby everyone was wrapping their kids up when the temperature was under 70. I don't understand why. Babies actually run hot since they don't sweat, so one would think they need less clothing."
She continued, "I never did that with you. You didn't get dressed in sweaters until late October and I always made sure you had light clothes for the Spring, Summer, and Fall. I almost never put a blanket in the stroller."

. . . . . . .

Let's fast forward to the present, and essentially every day since I've been dressing myself...
I'm now constantly trying to put myself under blankets, sweaters, hats and scarves by September and all I ever hear year round is "Aren't you hot? You can't possibly be cold!?"

Maybe there's something to dressing your baby like Ralphie's Little Brother from A Christmas Story after all...

This transmission logged byErisSaid on 10:21 AM

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    Video Game: World of Warcraft
    Knitting Projects: Toy, bag thingy that I'm coming up with on my own
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